What an unusual place...

Now that Jessica filled in a few details about settling in, let me fill you in on my new adventure.

I am a critical person. Said it. Done. I realize it is God who is changing this dreaded reality in my life. TaDa... Bethel! On my first day of classes I was taken back. There were piercings in everything, a multitude of tattoos, mini-skirts, super tight clothing everywhere and just plain strangeness. Between a quarter and a third of the student population I would have steered clear of on any other day. Not exactly what I was picturing. Of course, there were the rest of us plain clothed folks feeling like we needed a tattoo or trendy clothes to fit in. I first thought, "how can a girl worship in a mini-skirt?" and then, "why does that guy have a unicorn spike through his ear?", as well as, "is that amount of tattooage (I made that up just now) even healthy?". What an unusual concoction of folks.

Nothing like putting up walls before even getting started.

Before any formalities were undertaken the leadership insisted on worship. It was here the true tone was struck... in the heavenlies. My preconceived notions began melting away as the music began to play. NEVER, and I insist NEVER, have I been in a worship service where such passion was poured upon the altar before God from such a large multitude. Every person, especially those who I criticized with my unspoken words and only a glance of my eyes, opened their hearts and bodies to Him. As they lifted their voices towards heaven He responded by pouring more and more of His presence into the room. It was extravagant. His presence was tangible. I was immediately humbled. I began to worship feeling grateful that God would even receive from my contaminated heart a song of praise. Instead of the average worship service where only a handful of people get into it, every person in the room was wholly engaging. The ones who were just standing there seemed completely out of place. Even today, the worship team ended the song but the worshippers were not done and the song continued as a massively powerful wave of voices... no instruments playing, no worship leader leading, no words on the screen. Just 800 people singing the same song as a passionate expression of the uncontainable love pouring out from within... to which the leader eventually stated, "all i have to do is strum a cord and you guys are already gone!". They say worship is a key... what a powerful door it opens!

A lot of what I have believed and preached concerning touching the heart of God is shifting. I have always been so works oriented.  I felt the more I did for God the closer I would become.  More and more the realization is dawning within me that He cares nothing about our human achievements. I know it is something I have said again and again, but there is such a struggle within me to believe it. Here at Bethel it is apparent He cares about one thing... your heart... and this is what the entire culture revolves around.

I am surrounded by people from all over the nation and world who have given up as much as us, and more.  They are desperate to get a grasp on what they have struggled to believe is possible for most or all of their Christian life... that God has called us to prophesy, heal the sick and lame, cast out demons and raise the dead. Here, they teach you that it is part of the normal Christian life, not an exception. And they have proven it for over 17 years. They don't call what is happening here a revival. It's everyday life. The big difference is that they teach you it's not about all that "fun" stuff... they barely even speak of faith. They simply believe that as your heart becomes more aligned with the heart of God the rest is a byproduct of that relationship... truly simple. But so much doubt inside of me still has to be overcome.

Can God really do these things through me?

I won't belabor the point, but as more happens I will let you know. I am fired up.

As a final note here is a testimony of what happened to me today. We broke into our revival groups for the first time today. It is a group of 60 students with a main leader (John K.) and about 4 interns. We were all sitting in chairs around the perimeter of the room and John asked us to throw our name badges onto the floor in the center. He mixed them all up and then told us to come grab one (not our own of course). Then he told us we had a few seconds to hear from the Holy Spirit and we needed to see if we could locate the owner of the name badge. I only had time to think, "WHAT!". I stood up and immediately felt directed to this curly haired guy in the middle of the room. I walked up to Mr. Curly Haired guy and said,"Justin!", to which he replied "Nope, sorry.", to which I replied, "No. I'm Justin, are you Kevin?" He looked almost as astonished as I did. "YES!", he replied. The strange thing was that I had this unusual sense of confidence in what I was doing, but it was raging against fear and doubt. If this is the start of our training I am very excited about the coming months.

With much love and anticipation,

Justin