The End is Near! Or is it?

Jesus is coming back soon.  Most Christians will say, yup.  How do we know this?  Well because of the signs of the times... wars, evil all around, the nation of Israel etc.  The rapture and end times eschatology has become very popular.  Books and movies about the end of the world are constantly being produced both in the Christian and secular media.  Now all of this fear, destruction and drama are fascinating.  The problem is, it's maybe too fascinating?

When I really committed everything in my life to Christ at 17, my parents were also new believers.  It was the mid 1990's and the year 2000 loomed on the horizon.  Many people were convinced that it would all end at the year 2000. Actually, even the secular world got in on it with the Y2K hysteria. Remember that? It was where the computers were supposed to not be able to transition to the 2000's and so everything would short circuit somehow and shut down.  The world economy would collapse, stores would be closed, bank cards would be useless... etc.  People stock piled food and water in their homes, money too. Then 2000 came and went without a hitch.  I wasn't a part of that hysteria but I was being exposed to a more elaborate, well constructed end of the world scenario, which centered around the 2nd coming of Christ.  Don't get me wrong, I believe that Jesus will return and I look forward to all of the wonderful promises of a new world, restored to it's pre-sin state.  A world with no pain, no sickness, no war, where peace and love rule and the presence of God is our source of light and life.  It sounds marvelous! I believe that is coming someday.  But I want to look at what happens to people when their vision for the future is shortened to only include their lifetime or perhaps their child's life too.  You see, when you really believe Jesus is coming very soon, it greatly affects a large number of people in the world who are meant to be the source of change, blessing and creativity.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish"  Proverbs 29:18

I recently heard Mario Murillo tell about an instance that he was watching the faces of a crowd as a preacher told of Jesus' imminent return. The older people were said to shout joyfully while the younger people looked completely deflated.  The differing response was due, he said, to their stage in life.  The older you are, the more you look forward to a new pain-free body and to cease from laboring.  Young people, with all of their dreams and plans ahead of them, see mainly the loss of their future.  I realized in that instant, that although I wasn't at that particular meeting, I too was one of those young people who dreams had evaporated under that teaching.  I had no vision for the future because it was ingrained in me from early on that this was truly the season of Christ's return. Many of you might scoff at me, but if you were young and impressionable, full of faith in God, and listening to many seasoned Christians tell over and over why it was happening in this generation, you might be affected too.  The arguments were well constructed and very scriptural.  So, what is the big deal if some people believe Jesus might return in their lifetime?  I used to think, well, if He doesn't return in my lifetime then at least it will propel me to live in such a way that I will be focussed on the kingdom of God all the time.  Sounds good right?  I won't be getting distracted from serving God by chasing the dream of a big house, fancy car and big bank account.  I thought that, but not anymore.

"A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children"  Proverbs 13:22    Here at Bethel, legacy, momentum, inheritance are words you will hear weekly.  Bill Johnson is the 6th generation in his family to be in ministry. His sons, Pastors Eric and Brian Johnson, are the 7th.  They have written a book together about the topic.  Danny Silk preaches often about the subject as well. This may sound simple but a key part of leaving an inheritance for generations to come is believing there will be generations to come. I am not talking about banking a bunch of money for your great grandkids, though you might spend money differently if you had your grandkids well being in mind. I am talking about laying foundations for things that may take generations to complete.  You cannot have vision for people 100 or 200 years from now if you believe the world is ending in your lifetime.  So you see, that belief robs the world of many new ideas for solving problems, curing diseases and building great and wonderful new things.  

In my lifetime, it robbed me of the luxury of time.  As a young person, I felt so driven by this fear of wasting time. I felt I had no time to waste on learning to play instruments, or learning languages or arts.  Everything I did had to be about building God's kingdom.  Unfortunately, my idea of God's kingdom was so narrow, it only extended to what happened inside the church or the homes of believers.  It didn't include research labs where someone someday will find a cure for cancer, or music halls where orchestras play songs that inspire the hearts of men to soar.  I didn't see the kingdom of God in a well run city, or in political arenas where laws are made to govern the land.  So many vital areas of life were ignored because I didn't see the hand of God in them.  But the Bible says clearlyeverything good comes from God.  We are here to steward the earth and the wisdom of God for all of creation.  That was the commission in the Garden of Eden.  The men and women of God were meant to seek God for revelation about every area of life.  We should be the most creative, productive, "green" people in all the planet.  We should be the leaders in new music, new inventions, new business strategies etc.  But, too many of us are simply existing.  We are surviving each day, month, year and waiting... because that is what that belief promotes, a mentality of just surviving, not thriving and abounding.

I could get into all the things I have read about world history in homeschooling my children but it would be too long. (Yay homeschooling! Mom learned a lot too! lol!) Suffice it to say, many times people thought the end of the world was near and for good reason... one of the toppers was the black plague which killed close to a third of the population of the world in only a couple years.  More recently, people who lived in the 30s, 40s and 50s through 2 world wars and the fear of nuclear destruction, must have been waiting for Christ's imminent return.  I mention this because it was part of what enabled me to deconstruct the wall that blocked my view of the future.  Christ may return tomorrow, but whenever He comes back, I think He would want me to be learning new things, building, growing and investing into a people I will only see by the eyes of faith.  After all, some of them may be my great, great, great grandchildren, but they are all His children.  I am asking God for fresh vision, not just for my future, but for the generations to come.  I want to leave an inheritance that is lasting.  I want to build things that will stand the test of time.  I want to learn new things and grow.  As I let go of the old ideas that robbed me of my future, I am extending my empty hands to God anticipating the new things He is about to reveal to me.  School is coming up soon and I wonder at who I will have become a year from now and where I will be heading in life.  Where ever it is, I know it will be good, I have seen glimpses of it from afar.  :)

South Africa Trip!!!!

The real McCoy right there! A 50 year old African bull elephant!

I wish I had the opportunity to get to this post earlier, but life has been busy and wonderful here in Redding since my return from South Africa. With school having ended and my job settling into a normal routine it is time to put pen to paper... so to speak;)

There are so many instances that I can only share but a few. Between the healings, outbreaks of revival, deliverances, tent crusade meetings, street evangelism and more, more, more I could fill a book! Sufficed to say, I was undone by what God did through and in me. I have never experienced Holy Spirit in such a dramatic and powerful way. I now understand the significance of "power evangelism" where you don't speak or teach Jesus, but actually show Him to people in signs and wonders.

It is truly amazing how easily people are able to believe in Jesus  when you first give them a reason to believe. I was in the hut of a sangoma (witch doctor) in a small rural village when I first experienced a healing through my hands. While walking dirt roads fit for only the most aggressive SUV's we chanced upon a woman with an ankle brace limping around her home. Beatrice and I (we went out in two's;)) asked her if she would like to be healed. With a queer look of doubt in her face she cautiously replied yes, but she insisted we do it in front of her mother. I thought this slightly unusual, but why not.

We walked into a one room dwelling painted sky blue. There were two small beds, a night stand and chair sparsely filling the room. But what really drew my attention were the hooves, horns and skeletons adorning the timbers which held up the roof. To add to that was the shift in the spiritual environment we felt before ever seeing the afore mentioned. Something powerless was very angry that we were there. It made me giddy with excitement:)

The daughter with the ankle looked over at us and gave us permission to begin. I felt something I have never experienced before. I suddenly knew that this woman was about to be healed. There was no doubt in me. I could feel the impartation of grace and faith for what I was about to do. I knelt down, placed my hand on her ankle and simply said, "Ankle, be healed and made whole. Pain, leave immediately." I didn't beg, scream or even use Jesus' name. I let go of her ankle and asked her a simple question, "How's your ankle feel?"

I was met with a look of bewilderment. One of us was very surprised and it wasn't me! She began to twist her ankle in every direction but was slightly impeded by the ankle brace so we asked her to take it off. With a look of wonder on her face she quickly and almost anxiously complied. Then she did something extraordinary. She began to pace back and forth across the room with not so much as a stutter or limp. To her amazement her ankle was PERFECT and WHOLE! She contorted it in every way possible looking for pain yet finding none. She looked at us in disbelief.

It was at this moment that Jesus became blazingly real to her and for the first time in her life she was wide open to hearing truth. Truth that a moment ago meant nothing to her, but now meant the world to her. It was at this moment that our words were quickened by the Holy Spirit to her heart and soul. Talk about the power of God to save the lost!!

Her mother was very unhappy with us because we did what the devil could not. If you upstage a sangoma in their home be prepared to be kicked out. And so we were, with smiles, love and joy dripping off of us like the rain that fell on our uncovered heads.

Why was she healed along with the other 5 people I was fortunate to minister to? I don't know. But I do know that I have been changed forever. My faith was raised to a level I have never before experienced and I can't wait to see what God has in store to take me to that next level!

That was only 1 of 6 dramatic healings I experienced that day. That was only 1 of 14 days of ministry! And, that was only day 1 of a whole new outlook on life for me.

Since this one story has taken so much space I think it best to do this in increments. Do you want to hear more or are you bored?

Scattering the Seeds of Hope Through Living Your Dreams

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." 
  Proverbs 13:12

I have been thinking a lot of this verse.  I was challenged to write an essay on hope recently.  As I thought about what hope means to me and read quotes from famous people through out history on hope, my heart was stirred with the importance of hope in our life.  This verse also speaks about disappointment, discouragement and hopelessness; the very wilderness I have been wandering in for some time.  It says something really significant and interesting though,"when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."

Danny Silk, one of the pastors here at Bethel, said that the fulfillment of a dream is meant to give hope to those around us. He said that people are desperate to see someone living out their dreams.  It is the reason we flock to theaters and huddle around our TVs day after day. Even if the stories are fictional, the concept is enough to elevate our hearts momentarily.  But the more we check out of our own life, the less likely we will be to fulfill our own dreams. Our time is being spent on empty things.

Hope, in it's most basic form, is the expectation of good. I have realized that hope for something better is what fuels mankind to grow beyond where we are today.  Without hope we can become despondent and even lose the will to live.  At the point of my breakdown, I had lost the expectation of good in my life.  I was overwhelmed with despair and grief.  It seemed that every where else I looked; friends at church, news headlines, email prayer requests and facebook posts, only mirrored more suffering and misery.  I felt hopeless.  Sadly, I heard something recently that said the average child today, when surveyed, had more worries and fears than an adult in the 1950's! It seems now that from an early age our kids are internalizing the negative messages that bombard the world daily.

How can we have hope? It is easy to just say, hope is found in God.  It is, but David wrote in the Psalms that he would have despaired if he had not believed to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.  There is something essential to seeing hope in action and seeing the fulfillment of hope. It truly becomes a tree of life to everyone who hears it. We, the human race, are still feeding off of the hopes and dreams  of men and women of vision from history!  The vision to see that distant land of dreams comes entirely from God. He is the source of all that is good.  But as we partner with Him to move out into our destiny something is released into the world. The goodness of God becomes a reality not just a concept!

How many of you are living out of your dreams? Most people are just existing. It's the reason why we love movies like Braveheart. William Wallace lived so long ago but his legacy continues. His words, "all men die, but not all men truly live" speak to so many generations because so many lives are empty and purposeless. Proverbs 29:18 says, "where there is no vision, the people perish".  What's your vision for the future, for your life, for your children and your grandchildren? What are your dreams? Do you know when I first arrived here I ended up (by accident... and it was totally God!!) in a class about Dreaming With God. When they asked us to write down our dreams I wanted to laugh (or cry!).  I was just trying to get through each day, how could I even think about next year or 10 years from now or 50 years from now or leaving a legacy for my children's children's children!!!!  They challenged us to write down our dreams. Every silly, insignificant, impossible dream was to be included! If you had a secret dream to rule a planet in outer space or to fly (not in a plane! lol!) you were to include it. But also, all of the small dreams and desires, like seeing a famous landmark or writing a book or driving a race car.  They actually said you should have at least 100 dreams on your list! I got about 6 written that day including my old standard dreams of preaching and stepping into a Spirit filled, powerful ministry.  Later I was able to get it up to about 45. (I need to go back and add to it now.)  I challenge you to write a list of 100 dreams! It's not easy but it is inspiring!  Of all of the things that I have been learning this year at Bethel, the area of dreaming with God has had the most life in it for me.  I have felt God breath into my soul and spirit and re-awaken me as I purposed in myself to search out the dreams God has given me.

Step 2 is to start making plans to move in the direction of at least one of those dreams.  There are even dream coaches here who meet with you regularly to see how you are doing and encourage you to keep taking steps.  You could invite your spouse or a close friend to be your cheerleader/accountability partner. <3  Choose someone you know will believe in you and speak affirming words. The last step, is to record those dreams that are fulfilled. As you see even the little dreams being met, like seeing a shooting star or being an extra on a film set, you will start to believe that those bigger dreams are possible too. (That's hope growing in you... the expectation for good!) You see, your dreams and desires are who God made you to be! You are unique and beautiful to Him and to the world.  As you take steps toward your dreams, you'll be following your destiny or calling in life!  That means you will enjoy your life and everyone around you will be inspired to step out and enjoy their lives too!  The goodness of God will spread, like seeds blowing in the wind. I think it is so interesting we call dandelion seeds "wishes". The next time you see a wish floating by, catch it, make a wish, write it down and then GO FOR IT! You'll be scattering the seeds of hope to a hopeless world.  :)

A Shout Out to Our Peeps! ;D

Howdy folks,

Sorry it's been so long! The end of the school year is coming and I have been reflecting.  These past months there has been so much growth happening internally. I actually wrote a blog that I didn't publish while Justin was away because I wasn't sure if it made sense. :) Maybe I'll publish it later. Anyhow, I was thinking that I would like to write a few short (as short as I can be anyway! lol!) blogs about some of the main things I have learned here that have really impacted me.  So be watching for them.

Some topics I'd like to cover are; dreaming with God and hope, a new view on end times eschatology, the religious spirit and it's effect on my spiritual life, how to live the abundant life Christ promised... those are a few things off the top of my head.  I'm going to nudge Justin to do the same since he has been really changed during the school. His may not come for a couple weeks as he is still getting caught up with school work after being away on his trip.

We love and miss you all.  The kids are missing everyone greatly and ask to move home often. It is hard as a mother sometimes to hear it but I know that we are right where God wants us.  His favor, the growth and the healing we are receiving are some of the confirmations of that.

May the Lord be with you all.

Jessica xox

PS: Happy Easter in advance!

Jessica's ball of yarn.

Jessica here. I have been wanting to write for some time but intentionally erased the work I had begun several times.  Things are so much in process here that it is hard to put a snippet down without it seeming insignificant or irrelevant to onlookers. To be totally honest, sometimes I think how arrogant it seems on my part to think that anyone besides my mom would even want to know all about these attempts at unravelling the tangled pieces of my inner self. But, then I think of my family and friends whom I am missing and feel perhaps they too might want to hear some of this. So, here goes.

Lately, God has been speaking to me on the subject of lies. When I first arrived here, many people talked about partnering with lies and how it allowed the devil room to operate in your life. Fear, for example, is rooted in lies from the enemy of our soul. Fear destroys peace, joy and faith. It becomes difficult to hear God because of the loud chorus of voices chanting or even screaming falsehoods, churning up that place meant for the still, small voice of God. It brings our whole being into stress; body, mind and soul. I struggled a lot with fear, and I felt justified in doing so because of the terrible circumstances I had been through. Who wouldn't fear after almost dying and facing death on every side repeatedly for years, right? Well, whether my reaction was natural or not wasn't the issue. The spiritual realm is not natural.

The truth of the matter is that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and power and of a sound mind. God does not desire for me to live with fear and He has not brought the fear so then, where has it come from? Well, obviously the devil right? I didn't think so. I couldn't understand why I was so angered thinking that I shouldn't be justified in fearing, that there was no option but to fear. I realized only this week that there were several lies operating under the surface. I believed that if I acknowledged that I was wrong in fearing, I was guilty of allowing the devil an open door to steal, kill and destroy. Deep down, I feared that I was then responsible for essentially "killing" my babies by partnering with a spirit of fear and opening the door to the demonic. This might sound ridiculous to you, but to someone wrestling with deep pain it seemed logical. So, I rejected that idea that fear was something I had to break agreement with. I believed that I had no power over it because of my circumstance. I was a victim. 

Fear and love do not go together.  Over time, it eroded my love relationship with my heavenly Father. I lost my trust in God. I won't go into all of the fruit of fear in my life and in my walk with God because it was varied and there were many consequences. It is enough to say, that I finally realized that I didn't kill my babies because I feared. Also that the enemy of souls is the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy and he is responsible for that evil. I don't understand all of the complexities of God's sovereignty and will but I do know that God spoke to me that same word last year in the midst of my breakdown, at the height of my anxiety. My Father said, "Jessica, who is it that comes to steal, kill and destroy?" "the devil" said I. "I am your Father, would it be MY plan to kill you?" I heard Him say. Suddenly, I felt His pain that I had believed that lie too, that He was that bad of a father!

Some of those lies were hand tailored by the enemy for my set of circumstances. But I have realized that some of them were taught to me by leaders in authority over me in the church. Bill Johnson shared something that shed great light on some of my internal struggles this morning. He told the story of a pastor who was trying to help with a church addition. The pastor was not a wood worker but thought he could lend a helping hand in a simple task. He was given the job to cut 6ft planks. For the first plank he used a tape measure to make it exactly 6 feet. After that, to save time, he simply used the board he had just cut to measure for the next one. Those of you who are handy know where this is going. Justin guessed it right away. Each board became slightly longer as he used the most recently cut one to measure the next. The final boards cut were 8 feet long! Oh what a mess that was for the builders. It was all because he did not use the original standard to measure it with. "The church has done the same thing", said Bill. "We have used the previous generation in the church as our standard instead of the words of Christ, the original standard. Sickness and disease, in Christ's own words, were from the devil and to be destroyed. Two thousand years later, the church has believed that God sends sickness to somehow grow our character." At that moment my eyes were opened. It was the same sick feeling I had when my Father posed that question to me and exposed the lie I had believed about Him. I felt so grieved at the many evils we often attribute to God.

So, what can you or I do when we see a lie operating in our life? This was my question. How good He is to plan things so perfectly! As my heart opened to the place of receiving the truth, I began just this week a class in inner healing here.  Guess what subject they talked about first of all? Being captive to lies and how to be released! So, for my own review, I will share it with you. First of all, confess the lie you have been believing to God. You are bringing it to the light. Then ask God to forgive you for agreeing with that lie and reject it verbally (other words to use: break ties or agreements with it). Ask Him to take it far from you and to give you something in it's place. Then listen to hear what He will say to you. If there is someone you need to forgive in this process, even if it is only yourself, release forgiveness. (Forgiveness is a big key but I might write another blog about that.)

Ironically, in our 3rd week of the marriage classes we are taking, today, we talked about breaking bondages such as lies and generational curses. One might think that all of the classes were somehow very well coordinated but it was just God lining up perfectly the things I needed to hear all week long. He is so good!    

A few weeks ago, my son brought me a ball of yarn that was tangled together and asked me to unravel it. I thought it would be a simple task but soon realized that there were many knots amidst the tangles. It took me fifteen minutes and a lot of patience to straighten it out. As I worked, pulling out small segments and untying knot after knot, I felt God say that He was doing a similar work in me. When I began to be impatient with my task and tried pulling larger pieces free, it only tightened the knots. He too had to be patient and work in small segments as He undid the inner workings of my soul. Piece by piece, He is revealing lies and speaking truth. As He does, the freedom to worship Him and to live with Him is coming more and more.  Jesus promised, "I have come that they may have life and life more abundant."  I am BELIEVING the Truth again and expecting to receive His abundant life in me! :)  I hope this speaks to one of you too.  Maybe your planks have become 8 ft instead of 6ft? Maybe you too need to do a little spiritual inventory of what you believe as compared to what Jesus said? Just a thought. Freedom and abundant life are only a prayer away!

Don't make a home in the mud;)

Inspired to write. If you are reading this Matt, Thanks! If I ever need inspiration to blog I go to www.fuquestions.com (the "fu" stands for "frequently unasked"... I think). One man's attempt to live in a way he never has before. Thanks again Matt! Usually funny, sometimes sad, always a touch sarcastic:)

Have you ever heard the story of the old bag lady? All those around her hardly knew she was there. The hunched over little old lady who dug around in trash cans and dumpsters looking for bottles, cans and partially eaten hamburgers. She wore tattered old clothes, smelled of the trash she daily perused, always mumbled incoherently to herself and overall, was someone who most people chose to vehemently avoid.

The day she died was a cold day that all have forgotten. Not a soul missed the old woman who shuffled from one garbage can to the next. Not a soul knew anything about her: what she liked, what she hated, what her dreams had been, what her favorite color was, or even what her name was. Upon finding her stiffened body surrounded by her beloved black garbage bags, a great surprise was to be revealed to all. Hidden within those torn old bags were the shocking details of her life... and fortune. She wasn't a simple, clueless, old bag lady, as presumed. In reality, she was the widow of a prominent businessman. After his death she had inherited stock options now worth millions. No one knew. No one cared.

One of the greatest lessons I am learning here in California is a key to revolutionizing my life and those around me. There is treasure all around us. Too often I have been the one who quickly judges those around me for what I perceive to be their faults. Then I interact with them out of my convoluted mindset. I would continually allow a person's struggles to overshadow the truth of who they truly were.

What if David had rebuked and scorned the rabble of men that came to his side to fight with and for him. They were the discontent, disheartened and outcasts. They were men who were struggling with their identities. If he had shunned them we would never have the "mighty men of valor," whose hair raising exploits inspired millions. They were men whose loyalty to David, in word and deed, is unsurpassed to this day! Yet these were the same who fearfully hid in caves, had made bad life choices, hated themselves and were loyal to no man before David. They were screwed up, but he called out their true identities. David was a treasure hunter.

How about the man Jesus chose to lead His church! Simon called Peter. A man who was emotionally unstable and prone to outbursts that were almost deadly, IE. the soldier's ear in the garden. You don't think he was actually aiming for his ear do you!? He missed his intended target, the head of that poor boy! He was rash and unpredictable, and even denied the man He had faithfully followed for over 3 years. He had come to a realization that he never truly understood Jesus' message. This is the same man who's name was changed to "Peter," the "rock," by Jesus. The same man upon whom our Christian church was founded. Jesus called an unstable man to be a solid foundation?! CRAZY! Jesus saw the truth of who Peter was and called it out! Jesus spoke to the treasure and chose to focus on it rather than the mud in which it was buried!

Before we can change others we must first look to Jesus so we can see the treasure within us! Too often we demean the beautiful artwork that God has crafted. In false humility we unintentionally throw mud all over what He has made! Say to yourself, "I am His masterpiece and He loves what He has done"... Now, BELIEVE IT! If we focus on the mud (our inabilities and weaknesses), mud is all we will ever be, and what a great injustice we have done to our Father! Fight the lies against who you are! Call out the greatness and treasure that is surely inside of you!

Ask God how He sees you. I promise you, He wants you to know! Write it down. Speak it to yourself everyday. What you set before your eyes you will become!

Once you are able to see yourself as God sees you, then seeing the treasure in others and calling it out will become second nature.

If you want to change lives stop flinging mud and start digging for treasure!

Christmas

This morning is the first day of December.  I found myself unable to sleep but today that is okay.  There is something mysterious and wonderous about the darkness to me as Christ's birth approaches.  I feel a beauty and a sacredness in the solitude of the night.  It seems at these times, that I can see that little stable so long ago much clearer, without the busyness of the day and the brightness to illuminate my present surroundings.

I can imagine myself standing on the hills of Bethlehem 2000 years ago.  I can almost feel the chill of the night in the air.  I hear myself breathing as I gaze at the brilliant stars in the night sky.  I imagine how vast the expanse of the heavens must be that stands between me and these twinkling stars.  What a gift the night is!  In the brightness of the day, we see the sun, so large and warm and it feels close.  We see the clouds that, at times, seem as though we could touch them.  The bright blue sky seems like a ceiling that covers us in our safe homes here on earth.  But at night, staring into the black expanse with lights twinkling in varying degrees, a depth is revealed to the sky that is impossible to perceive in the light.  God's greatness is laid out before us as we gaze into the heavens, out into space itself.

I join the shepherds in the night.  My heart is quieted in awe and the message of peace on earth seems to blanket the sleeping world.  Peace on earth, God's good will for men, wrapped up in the tiny figure in the manger.  Truly even the choirs of angels praising God could not do justice to the wonder of this small baby.  I cannot really conceive of the same God, Who is so vast above in the heavens, Who created all things and holds them in motion in the palm of His hand, that this God has limited Himself, contained Himself, in one small fragile, earthen vessel.  Jesus, Creator of all, became part of His creation.  He experienced every part of our existence; being a single cell in Mary's womb, being carried in His mother's womb, being born, being helpless and taken care of by others, learning to talk and walk, learning to obey and to serve as a child, suffering pain when He was injured, feeling sick at times, feeling hunger and thirst, grieving the loss of His father on earth Joseph, feeling responsible, having to wait for God's timing, rejoicing in good times, and struggling through hard times and finally, death.  That moment in time history was changed for all of mankind.  The impact transcended time.  It was a cross roads for humanity.  We had been going one direction and now, because of one man, we were turned.  Our new destination, our destiny if you will, for those who will receive Him, became eternal life and God Himself. 

What a great moment indeed!  A sacred, holy, magnificent moment in time was the moment that Christ was born.  When He breathed His first breath on this earth and made His first sounds, who would have guessed He was the Saviour of the world?  Who would have known that same voice, was the voice of God that would speak those precious words, "Father, forgive them"?  Christmas, the celebration of Christ's birth, is here again.  What is it to you?  A time for cookies, gifts, rushing about, parties and family?  All of those things are good, don't get me wrong, but they can easily distract us from receiving the gift of God extended right now; renewed hope, deeper faith, greater joy and abundance of life in His presence are just a few.  Hear the message of the angels; peace on earth... peace in your life; and God's good will for man, His desire to lavish His love on you and me, right now.  I think of the story of Moses and the burning bush and something that God impressed on me years ago.  It wasn't until Moses stopped and turned aside to see why the bush was not consumed by the fire that God spoke to him.  Take a moment to stop and ponder the mysteries of God and He will speak to you too!  

May your Christmas season be full of wonder, mystery and sacred moments.

With love,
Jessica
  

South Africa!

Dear Friends,

WOW!!! It is amazing to see Jesus partnering with normal people (like me) to bring forth signs and wonders! Today during worship I sat down next to an older woman I had never met. As worship began I felt God's tremendous love for her and I was compelled to put my arm around her shoulders. Upon doing so I suddenly felt burning all over my left knee... I knew God was telling me something in regards to her body! I turned to her and asked if she had a problem with her left knee... did she ever! Her right knee had already been replaced because it had gotten so bad and now her left knee was in the same place. Her meniscus was totally deteriorated and there was no cartilage left. It was bone on bone, very painful. And get this! While praying for her God told me to whack her knee with my hand! Picture how weird I felt when asking her if it was okay to smack her bad knee! I would never have thought in a million years that I'd be doing something that crazy! But, I took a big gulp and, SMACK! I did it! Then I asked the cliff hanger question, “How's it feel?”. In the midst of her tears she told me how much better it felt... AWESOME! Later she told me there was no more pain! Weird, but awesome. It was hard for me to comprehend that God had just used me to heal someone... but that and so much more is happening here every day through normal people! I wish I had room to tell you of all the amazing stories of the other students here!

Recently I was accepted on a team that is traveling to South Africa for a missions trip from March 10-23. We will be ministering in churches, townships and orphanages, plus we will have the opportunity to minister at a large open air crusade. We will be flying in to Johannesburg and then taking a bus to Pretoria. From Pretoria we will be splitting up into six groups of five team members which will then be sent out all over South Africa and Namibia. This will be the Eleventh trip the school has taken to South Africa. Every trip has been heavily marked with mighty manifestations of God's kingdom through the healing of the lame, sick, blind & deaf, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and MANY lost saved! It is sure to be a time of signs and wonders!

Please consider partnering with me in one or two ways:

First and foremost is prayer. I will need as much covering as is possible before, during and after the trip. Because we will be aggressively going after territory claimed by the devil there will be resistance... guaranteed. Please, I implore you, keep me in your prayers daily. I NEED IT!

Second, I need to raise $3200 in a very short period of time. Please consider sowing into what God is going to be doing in South Africa! If you want to pay by card go to their website: www.ibssm.org   Once on the website go to the “GIVE TO BSSM” tab. Once there, it is very self explanatory. If you would like to pay by check: Mail it to: Bethel International, 933 College View Dr, Redding, CA 96003. Leave the memo blank and instead, include a piece of paper with my name "Justin Collins" and "South Africa" printed/written on it. Bethel (not in Rochester, but the Redding one) will send you a tax deductible receipt. 

Thank you so much for your love and support. I appreciate you greatly. May God bless you!

Justin Collins

MY WALLET!!!!!!!!

What a fun weekend! I'll cut right to the chase... don't look so happy:P

2 wonderful things happened in the following order:

Friday, we, as in over 800 students, were recording the "crowd" vocals for the new worship CD they are producing here at Bethel. This meant there was no band, no worship leader, no onstage vocals. We had to sing along with a CD... epic, right? My exact thoughts were, "I wonder if I could get some school work done right now, especially since this is going to be the most amazing worship service we have had all year!". Let me also add that the CD being used was mixed so that our voices would stand out on the recording.

For those who don't understand the significance of this, let me explain. Put your favorite CD into your CD player. Find the thickest pillows in your home. Duct tape them to the front of your speakers. Turn your volume up about half way. Begin to worship. If you don't have all the words right in front of you, you may, at multiple times, wonder where in the world the song is currently at. Now add 800 people to this choir. Also, add the fact that you can hear yourself and your neighbor singing clear as a bell. And, you can't sing like Jeremy Riddle, or a dying frog for that matter. Glorious!!!!

Yes, I thought it was going to be a big chug of toilet water. But, God just doesn't stop surprising me. Worship started, and with the first strum of the badly muted guitar His presence dropped like a bomb on the whole place... to a CD!!!!!!!!!!! What the Heck! Near the end of the first song everyone was ready to blow up, Jeremy Riddle (who was at the front to give direction between songs) was weeping on stage, us students were being consumed from the inside out,  His presence was tangible. The song ended. The choir of voices didn't. They actually grew louder, we actually grew louder. Once again, no worship leader, no band, no amazing vocals. A badly mixed CD, desperate people and the Love of Father. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! Sufficed to say worship was a staggering experience! What came next was even more fun, for me!

I felt this urge to sit down, even though my spirit was exploding inside of me. After sitting down I felt the urge to put my arm around the woman sitting next to me. Her name was Anglus. She was in her early fifties. Moments after putting my arm around her shoulders I felt an intense burning in my left knee. I didn't have to guess what it was, I immediately knew. I could feel the excitement quickly building inside of me. I turned my head towards Anglus and asked her if she was having a problem with her left knee. She was a little surprised, yet, surprisingly, I wasn't. She proceeded to tell me how she recently had her right knee replaced, but now her left knee was in bad shape. No cartilage, bone on bone, painful to move around. This is where it gets funny or weird, however you want to look at it.

I knew I was supposed to pray for healing. But, while I was praying God frightened me. I felt like He wanted me to whack her bad knee! I'm thinking,"Come on! Really! This seems absurd!". An immediate struggle arose within me. To smack the disabled woman or not. My pride and my reason were screaming at the top of their lungs, "Don't be a fruit loop! Don't do it! For our sake, DON"T DO IT!! God doesn't need you to whack the poor woman for it to happen... YOU'RE CRAZY!". On the other side was my spirit, "Whack her Justin! Give that knee a hardy smack boy! What are you waiting for! You want to see her healed?! SMACK HER! I SAID, SMACK HER!!!" I gave in to my spirit. I whacked Anglus' bum knee! After asking permission of course. And, Yes... she did smile a bit nervously when I asked.

After giving that left knee a good what for, I looked up at Anglus and she was crying. Oh my God, I hurt her! Not really. She told me it felt a lot better. She was quite excited to go use it and try it out. I checked up on her yesterday and she told me there was no pain left! Sweet day in the morning! Didn't see that one coming!

And now for the whole wallet bit. I lost my wallet at a park filled with homeless people on a Friday. Realized it on a Saturday around 5 pm. Frantically drove to said park and, with poor wifey in tow, searched the whole field where I had been playing frisbee. Upon feeling frustrated with my inability to locate my precious wallet, I asked God, "You know where it is, can you make this easy and give me some direction?". I stopped walking immediately, turned around, and made a b-line to the other side of the field. I literally landed on my wallet! I walked in a straight line to my wallet on the other side of the field! CRAZY! You may not be excited about this, but I sure was/am!

See ya:)

"Changed People Change People"

Isaiah 6:5 "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts."

How many of you have ever burned something into a pot or pan?  You know that no amount of scrubbing will get that off.  No, the only way to get it off is to soak it.  An even better way is to boil the soaking water with a little dish soap and let it simmer for a while.  Well, that has been my experience here at Bethel.  I came into worship and immediately became overwhelmingly aware of the crustiness of my soul. Before coming I thought, yeah, I have some things I am working through but I am okay with God.  I have realized there is no "okay with God".  I am thinking of the passage in Revelation where God says He would rather people be hot or cold than lukewarm.  He goes on to say that He will spit them out of His mouth.  So, back to being crusty.  I was really aware as I looked around at the people worshiping that I was not where they were.  I was further made aware as people laughed and shook under the Spirit and I sat untouched.  Finally, as they preached about God's goodness and love and His desire to heal I could stand it no longer and simply cried hot, frustrated tears.  Every service I went to I cried those hot, frustrated tears, wanting to run up to the front and grab someone and say what happened to me???  I knew I had been angry with God, I knew I had even turned away in my heart for a time in that anger.  But God had been drawing me back and giving me moments where I felt His love again.  I had no idea how cold I still was and how unable to respond in love rather than what I knew in my mind was right to do.  So, I wondered how I would be made whole?  I went for prayer many times.  I went to as many services as I could.  Someone even prayed, "Lord, give her some kind of a tangible touch so that she will know the healing work that You are doing in her".  Nothing happened.  I was completely disheartened.  I once again started feeling upset with God, "I even sold my house and moved all the way across the country (albeit somewhat unwillingly) and You won't even give me a touch from the Holy Spirit?"  I felt anxiety that maybe the hope I'd had in God's plan to heal and refresh me here was a mistake.  Days turned into weeks and it seemed that not much was happening to me.  I was constantly battling within myself feeling down, or lashing out at Justin because he was receiving so much and I felt I was not.  Well, all of those church services, hours of worship and prayer mixed with bubbling and at times boiling emotions were like that pot.  The water of the Holy Spirit was filling me, soaking my crusted soul.  Slowly, without anything dramatic happening, I noticed a change.  At first, I was even unwilling to admit it because I was still upset that I hadn't had any dramatic and powerful touch from God.  I kept looking at all of the ways I felt God had disappointed me.  Despite all of that, He kept soaking me with His Holy Spirit and slowly the blackened char of my soul has been softening.  I am still aware that I am not where I would like to be in my love for God, but at least there is a desire to grow in it again and a recognition of my need for more.  I have to steady my emotions and remind myself during the times I feel I am the only one not at the party that God has already done a lot in me during these weeks.  I even had one night where He gave me a kind of a vision in one of the classes here.  We were to listen to a worship song and then ask Jesus to meet with us and tell us something.  As soon as I closed my eyes, at the start of the song, I saw myself as a little girl in dress up clothes dancing with Father God.  I was standing on His feet and He was rocking me wildly and we were both laughing.  After that I saw a kind of a slide show of all of the good times I'd had with Him over the years.  There were many.  Well, during all of this, I was laughing and crying and then it became mostly laughing for about 15 minutes.  This is significant because, for the past 2 years, every time I felt God's presence and let my defences down, all I ever did was cry.  I had so much pain in my heart that I was sick of crying.  It got so that I didn't want to try to spend that intimate time with God because I knew I would feel all of the hurt and cry more.  Well, since I have been here, I felt an urgency that I didn't want to miss out on whatever God had for me but I knew I couldn't receive anything like this.  So, little by little, when it seemed nothing was happening, and I was just crying again, I was getting better.  Like that pot that needed to soak, it was slowly falling off my heart, sometimes in big chunks like the night I laughed with Father God.  I am still in process but I have seen great progress in just a month and a half.  I am beginning to feel strong again at times in my spirit man.  I have even stepped out a couple times and given people prophetic words and they said they were accurate!  (Not too long ago I felt I couldn't hear God at all.)  As exciting as holy laughter and prophecy are, I am conscious of staying focused on what is really important, growing closer to God.  It is far too easy to just focus on God's gifts without staying caught up in love with the Giver.

I had intended in keeping my posts about what is happening here at Bethel in general, rather than blabbing on about myself.  I felt initially that it was all too messy even to bring up, that it wouldn't glorify God.  But I am seeing that a lot of what is going on here is about changing people, renewing their way of thinking about God and the world, and giving them a confidence in God's goodness and love.  The miracles bear witness to all of that.

If there are any of you who read this and feel that you too are like that crusty pot or maybe you just feel "okay with God", I want to encourage you to get a good worship CD and "soak" as you fall asleep in the night.  Wash your mind with some fresh reading of the Word of God, even just a chapter or two a day.  Listen to sermons.  However you want to do it, but let the Holy Spirit soften your heart and cleanse your mind, even if there are painful things that you don't want to deal with.  He is gentle, He is faithful and He is good.  If you do, He will surely meet with you and you will be blessed and you will bless others around you.  Now isn't that the kingdom of God in the earth?  Each one of us, growing in God and letting it overflow into the world around us. 

One last thing, I like what they say here about the kingdom of God.  Every where you go, if you call out the good things in people and praise God's gifts in them, you will cause them to grow.  If you tell a cashier what a beautiful smile she has and how much it blesses everyone who comes into her line, guess what she will do for a while after you leave?  She will be smiling and joyful to everyone who comes, whether she knows God or not.  This releases others to receive that joy too.  So, you don't have to preach a sermon and say the sinner's prayer to everyone you meet.  Bring God's kingdom however He leads, even in just a smile or a word of encouragement.

Romans 14:17 "For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.  He that serves Christ in these things is well-pleasing to God, and approved of men."

P.S. The title is a quote from one of our beloved teachers at Elim, Brother Hugh Smith.  He was full of such sayings, and 11 years later, they still stand out clearly in my memory. (Another one was, hurt people hurt people. So true!)  Simple can be very good! Thanks Brother Hugh!